Today we Celebrate our Independence Day!

by on 05/07/2014
 

Hey guys, you may or may not remember me. My name is James, and the military has consumed most of my time for the last year, so I was on hiatus while people dropped out. Regardless, it seemed fitting for this piece to be done by an American, better yet an American Soldier. Sorry it’s late, my barracks room doesn’t have wifi, so I’m on my phone.

Now, many of you may be wondering what the deal is with the barbecuing, the excessive drinking, the blowing shit up, doing what Americans do. But yesterday was a special occasion. We all know the story over on the right side of the Atlantic, but I’ll educate my friends across the pond about the 4th of July.

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Nobody calls it Independence Day, that’s a Will Smith movie. We just call it the 4th of July. It’s the day that, in 1776, a bunch of rich dudes in white wigs decided to make it Facebook official and declare independence from Great Britain. So 56 guys put their names on a piece of paper written by Thomas Jefferson called, you guessed it, the Declaration of Independence of the United States from Great Britain. A little long winded for my tastes, but hey.

Now, why the beer consumption and sticking processed red meat over a fire? Well, that’s what we do in the summertime (sunny weather permitting). Why the fireworks? Many people cite the finale of our national anthem, “o’er the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh say, does that Star-Spangled Banner yet wave? O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.” The simple reality, as unpatriotic as this sounds, is two-fold: 1) we love blowing shit up. It’s common knowledge, I mean who doesn’t? 2) the only thing we love more is the ability to make a quick buck off stuff Americans love doing anyway. Whether it’s selling your beat up Toyota on Craigslist, selling ammo at gun shows, selling your buddy the rest of your Brazzers subscription, or selling fireworks; if you can get away with charging money for an American tradition, you will. You should see the racket on Thanksgiving Turkeys.

All that being said, let’s look at five ways we’ve made geekery better.

MOVIES– photography, and subsequently video technology, was all developed here in the US, from the short film to the full feature. Take this gem here.

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TV– Though the technology behind radio waves is rather European, the application of using them to transmit video signals is entirely American. So when you’re watching this scene, you know who to thank. Speaking of Batman…

COMICS– While literature is as old as civilization, nobody thought to use pictures primarily until a couple kids made this bad boy right here.

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CARTOONS– Once we figured out how to make short movies, we started doing cute little cartoons to go along with it. Take this gem, the first ever full length animated film.

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*HONORABLE MENTIONS* Due to the American occupation of Japan following the Second World War, the local populace was introduced to comics and cartoons. These guys thought “That’s cool and all, but what of we made it our own?” This, anime and manga. Superman created Goku, Steamboat Willy created Cowboy Bebop. You’re welcome.

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VIDEO GAMES– while Nintendo may dominate the game, the originals were made entirely in the US. By those, of course, they all go back to PONG.

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There’s five, maybe six reasons geeks in particular should be grateful for the contributions that America has made to the world. Besides, well, FREEDOM.

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