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Tuesday, August 9, 2022

It’s summer: Time to Mount Your Friends!


It’s that time of the year when the nights are longer, your basement dwelling friends come out of the woodwork and sales of e45 go through the roof. Summer is here in all its blistering glory and despite that fact that many a facebook update is about how hot it is, despite the fact that we here in England had almost 6 months of winter in 2012-2013, most of us will have a powerful urge to do sports. So what will it be? The rowdiness of football? The majesty of Tennis? The middleclassness of polo?

Yeah, I mean those are good… but you could always just mount your friends.

This utterly baffling indie game sensation is taking the Xbox Live users by storm, with a title more self explanatory than Minecraft. The aim of Mount Your Friends is simple: You start off with a goat, and you climb said goat. Then you or your friend (preferably your friend… it’s kind of weird on your own) climbs the goat and your character. Each turn is timed; you lose if you aren’t highest by the time your turn ends.

good, wholesome, family fun.
good, wholesome, family fun.

“And?” I hear you sneer, well you control your characters QWOP style; individual limbs at a time, using ragdoll physics for maximum hilarity. In addition to the snort-inducing generated names and the shocked expression of each character’s face and you have a good few days worth of  laughing yourself into a coma. This is the game you can bring out at parties, gatherings or any time you and a friend have a few minutes to spare.

And did I mention the dick physics? Yeah. There’s dick physics. It has to be seen to be truly appreciated but there is nothing quite like straining to get your avatar up a pile of jock strapped ragdolls while betwixt your legs a veritable meatspin is making every penis joke you’ve ever made pale in comparison.

jiggle jiggle.
jiggle jiggle.

The only gripe I have is an inability to customise characters, as variations do appear on the menu screen, but for 80mp (also available on steam) who am I to complain? One more thing: if you, as a cosplayer, feel inspired by this game, please email us or send us a message on our facebook page here. Seriously.

Check out some game play:

Hailing from Kent, England, Mike is a writer, editor and podcaster who has just finished his degree at CCCU. He also is a drummer of 11+years, plays in several bands, and is available for session work. His other interests are Batman, music which doesn't suck and pizza. Follow Mike @The_Dark_Mike

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