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Friday, May 24, 2024

Play Diary; Don’t Starve, Part 2


This being the continuation of the Adventures of Wilson Percival Higgsbury, the Gentleman Scientist, in the world of Don’t Starve. For part 1, click here.

Day 2

Ahaha, I’ve done it! I survived the night! Take that, scary shadow monsters with your stupid glow in the dark eyes. Right, I’ve got a full (mostly) stomach and a whole day to explore, so let’s get to it. First; I need some gold. No, not because I’m a style guru, but because last night while perusing my toolbar…that is, *science books*, I discovered that with a few hunks of gold I can make a Science Machine. I mean, what else do I need to know? I’m a Gentleman Scientist with a highly questionable hairstyle; NOTHING SHALL STOP ME! Setting off, I decide to find me some rocks.

Firstly I head north, but I soon take a detour to collect some firewood and carrots for later. Suddenly, I stumble upon a strange instrument stuck in the ground. Weirdly, it looks like an eyeball stuck on top of a bone. Investigating further reveals it’s called an “Eye Bone”. Well, what can you say; mystery solved.  I go and grab it, curiosity knowing full well that as soon as I touch it some form of giant, demonic Zebra will probably erupt from the trees. While I’m wondering what it is, I hear a strange bouncing sound coming my way. I just have time to get my axe out when what looks like a large pumpkin with horns and a lolloping tongue bounces into view. Well, Wilson is not going to be eaten/stung/killed this time!

I charge forward, but before I can plant my axe in its stupid veggie head, the creature stops and opens its mouth, its tongue lolling cheerfully. I pause. We stare at each other. I wonder why I’m having a staring competition with a pumpkin. Wary, I edge closer and discover the creature is called Chester. Wait a minute; Chester? Is this some sort of mobile container? I quickly discover that the creature puts up no argument when I try and store things inside it. I try to move on and sure enough, my new pet bounces merrily along behind me! Hah, ChesterPuns are funny. Moving on, the terrain gives way to a rocky landscape. Perfect! I quickly make a basic pickaxe and start mining a few boulders. Finally, as I reduce another boulder to dust, I decide to head home, with Chester practically carrying his own weight in gold. Now, if only I could find a Cash 4 Gold shop….


While I’m daydreaming about where I’d get a cardboard box big enough for a demon pumpkin, the sun begins to set once again. As Chester curls up, I quickly pitch up myself, and make a fire before the darkness arrives.


Day 3

As the sun rises, I realise I’m 3 days in, and beginning to feel at home. However, as my stomach rumbles, I realise there’s a problem; in my quest for science I’ve completely forgotten my quest for food! I’ve been surviving on berries and carrots so far but they won’t keep me going much longer; I need meat. I make myself a couple of animal traps and head off to the grass-covered fields nearby. Setting them down near some rabbit holes, I wander off to finally do what I’ve been meaning to do since I arrived here; set up a permanent camp.

Scouting the area I finally decide on a place and make myself a base camp, complete with a more efficient stone fire pit, and of course my long awaited Science Machine, which I instantly use to refine some wood and make myself a handy chest. Huzzah, Camp Wilson is finally up and running! You know, minus walls. Or a ceiling. STILL! Now I can start making more advanced goodies! Firstly, I see if I can find a way to make a farm of some sorts, but alas I need manure, apparently. OK then, next on the list; make some manure. Or, I don’t know, find a cow or something. For now I content myself with building a spear and some wooden armour. After all, I decided to settle near Piggleton, and I fear the Pig-Man residents might not appreciate a man as dashing as myself setting up camp so close. It might make them extremely jealous. That, and I wholly intend to rob them of all their food in the near future, so protection is a must. 

Before dark I head off to collect my rabbit traps. But when I get there, I find the creatures have completely ignored my traps, and I’ve managed to catch nothing all day! This is a disaster! Sneaky little blighters, wait till I get my hands round your smug little necks. I trudge back to my camp and toast myself some berries and cook some suspicious looking red mushrooms too. They help heal me, but do precious little to feed my hunger. Looks like it’s going to be a long night…


Day 4

Dawn arrives and I shoot off in desperate search of food. I ate every last thing I had last night, and I have utterly nothing left. As I search, inevitably, the screen turns red, and my health begins to decrease. I’m literally dying of starvation. All other ambitions forgotten, I dash through the landscape, scrambling for anything. I cram seeds to stave off the hunger for a few minutes more until I can find something; anything more substantial. Frantically I check the rabbit traps and mercifully I see that both have caught rabbits. I hurry back, light the fire and cook up both at once. However, it’s still not enough. These rabbits were an improvement, but haven’t sated my hunger nearly enough as I thought they would. I build two more traps and set them up on the field with the others. I also try to build some bird traps, but lacking the necessary spider silk there’s little I can do.

Becoming increasingly grumpy, I stomp off to the nearby forest to stock up on firewood. Chopping away, thoughts consumed with what I’m going to do for my next meal, I barely notice a rustle in the forest. Almost without warning a tall tree uproots itself. With a mighty roar and sprouting arms, the Ent begins to crash after me, clearly angry I’d been chopping down his family. Luckily, I’m prepared. I put some distance between myself and the Ent and equip my Log Armour and attack with my spear. I hold my own, but soon I realise that my lack of combat experience and tiny spear is clearly doing very little damage. Meanwhile, my log armour is all but destroyed, and I’m quickly losing health.


I attempt to flee; but as far as I run, he won’t stop chasing me! I run to my camp, hoping the Ent will shy away from my roaring fire, but for some reason, showing him the burning remains of his family after I’ve effectively danced around in their skins doesn’t dissuade him, and he chases me further. Finally, before even realising, I stumble right into Piggleton. Then, with a flash of inspiration, I realise how to beat him! I watch expectantly as the Ent crashes into the village. And thankfully, just as I’d hoped, the Pig Men instantly take up arms. Roaring, they hurl themselves at the beast as I stand well out of the way of the fight. I watch with more than a slight sense of guilt as one by one the Pig Men fall. However, thankfully the lumbering tree finally crashes to the ground, and the lone survivor of The Piggleton Massacre returns to his life in the village, apparently unconcerned that I’ve actively contributed to the murder of his village. God damn it, pigs are stupid.


Then…a terrible, yet beautiful thing happens. With a grim realisation and a rumbling stomach, I look again at the corpses of the pig men around me, and suddenly see them for what they truly are. BACON. I guiltily mill around until the light of day begins to wane, and as the last Pig Man returns home I shamefacedly scamper around the village, cannibalizing the dead pigs around me for ham and pig skins. Beating a hasty retreat back to my camp I light a fire, and after a very brief yet agonizing moral debate, I throw a couple of hams onto it. Trying to imagine the Pig Men as just the stupid animals they are and not the noble intelligent creatures that had just saved my…*ahem* bacon, I contentedly tuck into some giant hams. Finally, with a full stomach once again I settle for the night, gazing longingly at my science machine, head full of possibilities…


What will happen next in the adventures of Wilson The Gentleman Scientist? What bold new devices will he create, now he has his infamous Science Machine? What strange new creature will he encounter next? Will our chivalrous hero ever see a giant, demonic Zebra? Find out in Part 3!

Matt, 24 last time he checked, was born and raised in Manchester. A self-styled geek; when he isn't annoying his other half by fitting in as much gaming time as he possibly can, he can be found getting his fix of Fantasy and Sci-Fi elsewhere by reading, writing, or watching TV Series and Films. He is also a Michelin 3-Starred Chef in his spare time, and can be found experimenting in the kitchen, and generally poisoning his friends with obscure and mysterious dishes.

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