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Sunday, May 19, 2024

True Blood Rant: Season 6 Episode 2

After the series six premiere of everyone’s favourite, and only, show about bloodsuckers worth watching – debatable as that may be right now – we’re back for another True Blood catch up.

I’d missed Bill’s little sex noise as the three naked blood-covered ladies ‘entered’ him last week – the re-cap made sure I didn’t this time. Anyway, those girls are rather disturbing. I get that True Blood likes its hot naked folk, but these three are just freaky. Well, ten minutes in and we’ve got tits. That’s a start. Bill’s mental again too. Then there’s bloody Lilith. Oh and that crazy thing he does to his ‘meal’ later on.


We’re back to ‘who the fuck is Warlow’ again now, as those pesky writer folk threw us off with Jason’s new driving buddy. At the moment, Warlow looks a bit like a vampire Slash or something, emerging from his little portal or whatever it was. Not too threatening so far. I’m sure that will change though.

S6_benFinally, someone has caught on to Sookie never actually showing up for work. Seriously, she might be off fighting the vampire war and being part faerie, but people gotta eat! Then pow, in jumps the guy that’s probably going to be her new love interest. Who does he think he is? Being all injured and bloody and needing help when she’s late for work. Tsk tsk. Yeah, he’s half faerie. It’s happening!

I’m not sure how much I trust Ben. His looking for a ‘little slice of something good’ is definitely Sookie, or at least what’s in her pants anyway.

Sam’s story isn’t too interesting at the moment. Lafayette is playing sitter for Emma whilst some activist wants him to come out publicly as a shifter. However, it’s not too long before the wolves come to Battle for Emma. Yawn. Still not interested.

The humans are fighting back with the direction of the Gov’. As if TV needed another evil Gov’ for us all to hate. This one’s got it all though- UV bullets and contact lenses to block glamouring? Those vamps are getting worried. Especially Eric, who paid him a little visit which turned sour. Poor Eric, he’s full of sad faces at the moment and isn’t his usual witty self. He did look cute in his little nerd get-up mind. However, I’m sad to say that my money’s still on him making his True Blood departure in the mid-season massacre or whatever it’s going to be. Now I have a sad face as well.

Grandpa Nile finally spills the beans on why Sookie Stackhouse is so darn special. Apparently she has some sort of supernova vampire killing power, but she can only use it one as she’s only part fae. If she uses the power, that’s it, she’s human. Sounds all too tempting for Sookie, since she keeps harking on about how she wants to be normal. Also, I’ve grown far too attached to Nilerutger-hauer-on-true-blood in the space of this episode. He’s probably gonna die next week.

We round off the episode with Bill finally coming back to earth after Jessica’s prayer, with the realisation that he can see the future. The future sure doesn’t look good for Jess, Pam, Tara and Eric. We see a large group of vampires detained in a room (perhaps the ‘camp’ the Gov’ was talking about earlier?) before meeting the true death. Worryingly for Eric and I guess Jess, as I don’t care for the other two, rumours of a main character’s departure have suggested it comes via the true death. For you noobs, although why you’re reading this I don’t know, that means facing sunlight. Let’s hope this vision doesn’t come true, because the show ain’t exactly riveting right now and Eric and Jess are far more interesting characters than Sam and  the wolves. 

Quote of the week is a tie, between Jason and, well, Jason. He gets the best lines, I guess he doesn’t have many other uses at the moment. Bless. Well, that’s it for now folks. Keep posted for more True Blood ranting/reviewing next week, and for all you Dexter fans, I’ll be covering the premiere of that as well.

Quotes of the Week

Jason:Prepare to meet your fucking maker Warlow’
Grandpa:I’m not Warlow. I’m your fucking faerie grandfather’

Jason:What the fuck are we eating spaghetti for? Let’s go stake the bastard!’

Hani Fearon
Hani Fearon
I'm an aspiring film journalist living in Chester. Into all kinds of geekery from N64 to Xbox, graphic novels, cosplay anime and more. I have an unhealthy obsession with Pokémon and the Legend of Zelda series. So much so that I have two Zelda tattoos and various Pokémon lurking all over my house. In my spare time when I'm not busy being a real person and working, I'm writing or making retro games jewellery. I'm also obsessed with pandas. They're fabulous.

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