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Monday, June 17, 2024

True Blood Rant: Season 6 Episode 3

Faeries, kidnap and another thousand storylines we don’t give a damn about: it’s time for this week’s True Blood Rant!

The episode begins with Bill confirming what we saw in his vision last week: he saw Jessica, Eric, Tara and Pam suffer the true death in some sort of vampire holding facility. Then later there’s a fabulous scene with him facing the sun, assuming he is immune to its vampire-killing ability. Bill bursting into flames and flailing around was more humorous than anything else- maybe True Blood really is losing its touch.

true-blood-season-6-steve-newlinSo, we’ve learnt that the Gov is experimenting on vampires. When Eric kidnaps his daughter, Willa, she tells him about the ‘camp’ that he’s running. Then we get our first glimpse of the facility when Rev Newlin is captured, crying his little vampire eyes out. That fellow can’t catch a break can he? Jason stole his wife and then turned him down for vampire lovin’, then Russell went bye-bye. Now Sarah shows up to annoy him for a little while. Poor Steve.

Sookie’s moaning about her constantly being in danger. Get over it girl, you’ve just found out you’re a royal faerie and you have a countless amount of supernatural suitors. Man up.

Eric’s getting back to being angry, but that cheeky wit of his is long gone. He’s also gone rather soft, letting Willa live and even share a coffin with him, which finally makes way for saucy Eric scene. No doubt those two will get it on soon enough, especially since Sookie wants nothing to do with him any more. Surely that will piss off her daddy more than Pam’s suggestion of beheading. Especially when we learn that Momma Burrell had an affair with a vampire…


Andy’s faerie babies have reached their teens and the police are on the lookout for wolf pup Emma. We see Alcide’s wolf bitch showing her true colours when the police come a-knocking. Warlow has massacred the faerie nightclub, which Grandpa Niall (who I’m renaming Pappa Faerie) finds. He also runs into Sookie’s new love interest (Ben) and seems to recruit him to help protect her. I’m still not sure about him, everything seems so circumstantial and he’s a halfling like Sookie… a llittle too coincidental perhaps?

true-blood-sexy-jessicaBill has found a scientist that can synthesise Sookie’s faerie blood and sends Jessica to retrieve him, and dayem girl, does she look good doing it. Bill’s attempts at retrieving Sookie are less successful though, especially when in his angry Billith state. I’m loving the nickname the Truebies have given him by the way and will be following suit.

Billith wants Sookie’s help but she won’t give him her blood, declaring he’s had more than his fair share. The conversation ends with Bill saying that she’s dead to him. See, a few series ago this would have been a big moment, totally squashing hopes of them rekindling their relationship. However, no one gives a damn any more. Especially when Sookie’s involved.

Sadly, I think that True Blood really is on the decline. There are too many plot lines which don’t hold my attention in the least, and the ones that are supposed to just don’t do the trick any more. Maybe the character cull around mid-season will bring the show back into my good books, but for now, these recaps really are rather ranty. Here’s hoping that the show picks up soon, and I think killing off one of the major characters is the way they’re going to do it. Will it work though? We’ll see soon enough. For now, I’ll finish off with the quote of the week, where we finally pay attention to something Sookie says.

Quote of the Week

Sookie:You’re not God Bill, you’re just an asshole’

Hani Fearon
Hani Fearon
I'm an aspiring film journalist living in Chester. Into all kinds of geekery from N64 to Xbox, graphic novels, cosplay anime and more. I have an unhealthy obsession with Pokémon and the Legend of Zelda series. So much so that I have two Zelda tattoos and various Pokémon lurking all over my house. In my spare time when I'm not busy being a real person and working, I'm writing or making retro games jewellery. I'm also obsessed with pandas. They're fabulous.

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