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Friday, April 19, 2024

XX – Cracking the Code

The future of Marvel, according to this image that’s been passed around the geekier parts of the internet like a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in a convent, is XX.

See?  It's true!
See? It’s true!

I figured Marvel must have released more than just the image, so I used my Google-Fu to find… nothing.  This is all Marvel have to say on the subject, at least for now.  Well, this and the tagline ‘April 2013’.  Whilst this is good for building up anticipation of their new project, it does prove that there is truth in the saying ‘a little knowledge is a dangerous thing’, as my mind has run amok with ideas…

 

The X-Women

What Happens?  Sick of the boys always telling them what to do, a bunch of female mutants led by Emma Frost go on adventures and dates, all whilst trying not to ruin their nails!  Oh, and the title’s actually pronounced ‘Kiss Kiss’!

Seriously Though.  A group of ass-kicking superheroines team up to fight injustice, crime and giant robots!  Basically Marvel’s Birds of Prey.

Prove It!  What’s to prove?  XX is the female chromosome, and you can’t have the letter X in Marvel comics unless mutants are involved.  It’s like, the Holy Word of Stan Lee or something.

How Likely?  Surprisingly likely, considering I originally thought this up as a joke answer.  Marvel are pretty good about having strong female characters playing a big part in major events, what with the core line-up of the recently-ended X-Men comic being 80% female- although it seems unlikely that they’d start making this big a deal about a girl-centric comic now.

 

20 X-Men

What Happens?  20 X-Men, both well-known and obscure, team up for some purpose that isn’t time-travel, dimension-hopping, black ops, running a school, or running a detective agency, as they’re all covered in other X-titles.  Smart money is on Longshot, Dazzler and of course Wolverine, putting together a street dance team to beat the rival Summers Steppers in an epic dance-off!

Seriously Though.  Well, there’s been a lot of new mutants popping up due to the phoenix force being all… phoenixy… so my guess is it’ll follow 20 of these confused teens, who will stick together, but possibly not align themselves with either the Brotherhood or the Jean Grey School.  Like NYX, but with more characters.

Prove It!  XX is 20 in Roman numerals.  It could also follow just 10 characters, and the title meant to read 10-X.  Or X-10.

How Likely?  The premise seems reasonable, but a cast size that big is the whole reason why they needed to split the X-franchise into bitesize chunks to begin with.

 

X-23

What Happens?  Another X-series clone is discovered, only she’s a female clone of Deadpool!  What follows is a screwball buddy comedy in which X-23 tries to keep X-D under control, and X-D tries to get X-23 to lighten up!  Wacky!

Seriously Though.  Given Marvel’s fondness for replacing deceased characters with the-same-but-different versions (AoA Nightcrawler, Jean Grey from the past, Doc Ock in Spider-Man’s body) it’s completely possible that X-23 bites it in Avengers Arena, and a newly-discovered X-20 takes her place.

Prove It!  Because as we’ve established, XX = 20, XX = female, X = mutant…

How Likely?  Honestly, not very.  Aside from the fact that I clearly and obviously clutched at straws and leapt over the abyss of logic to get to this conclusion, there is one key piece of evidence which disproves this:  Marjorie Liu isn’t writing it.  And as we all know, only Marjorie Liu is allowed to write X-23.

 

Weapon XX

What Happens?  The big bads of the Marvel universe decide to build a modified clone of Vin Diesel.  But something goes horribly wrong, and the resulting monster… is only two-thirds the size!  Get it?  Because ten years ago Vin Diesel was in a movie called XXX!  I’m fucking hilarious.

Seriously Though.  Just like Weapon XI resulted in Deadpool, Weapon XX will result in either a sassy new character beloved by the masses, or a dangerous adversary.  Considering they’ll have their own title, I’m guessing the former.  And it’ll be a woman.

Prove It!  Weapon X was so-named because it was the tenth experiment, and, as if I still need to repeat this, XX = 20.

How Likely:  Revisiting Weapon X(X) is always good for some instant drama, but maybe Marvel would like to go for something new and different?  Right guys?

 

Laura Maier
Laura Maier
At the time of character creation, Laura Maier made the mistake of putting all her points in charm. While this was probably an unwise decision, it's served her well so far. Her power animal is the platypus.

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